Reaching for the Stars
by nicole.cappsdixon
Summary: What happened to the infant from Collective (S6EP16)?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters. I just like to take them out to play on occasion.

It was one of the most unusual things to happen on Voyager, which is saying a lot, thought the Emergency Medical Hologram. Really, he could count on one hand the number of times nearly all of the Senior Staff had ever willingly gathered in Sick Bay.

"So we agree," said Tom Paris. "The Doctor should approach the Captain and the Commander together about the issue."

"I'm really not sure how it came about that I should be the one to talk to the Command Staff," said the EMH.

"You are probably the only one of us who they will listen too on this matter, Doctor," Seven of Nine chimed in.

Not to be out done, B'Elanna Torres, added, "They know you are looking for a solution. It only makes sense it would be you who approached them."

The Doctor turned to the Vulcan standing behind him, "Mr. Tuvok, you have not said a word during this surprise attack. Your thoughts?"

"They are all correct. You are the most logical person to be overseeing this issue. You, therefore, should be the one to report to the Captain and Commander of your progress and offer them this solution," he said.

"Yes, but what do you think of them being the solution?"

"All of the reasons have already been pointed out. I do not disagree with any of them. On a personal level, I believe Captain Janeway would benefit greatly from this. The problem is not my support. It is getting them to agree."

The Doctor looked around at the small group of people he considered his closest friends and his family. This was not a solution he would have thought of himself, but he had tried every other option available. The situation had to be resolved. It also offered some added benefits for the continued good physical and mental health of the command staff. He just wasn't sure he had the right words to make them see the benefits.

"Doctor to the Captain."

The EMH voice sound rather loudly on the bridge. Kathryn Janeway almost jumped at the sound. The ship was cruising at Warp 6 toward the Alpha Quadrant. There were no hostile aliens firing at them, no repairs going on, or any supply negotiations waiting to be completed. The bridge crew was all working quietly on diagnostics or catching up on reports. She looked around at the staff as she raised her voice for the computer, "Go ahead Doctor."

"I need to speak to you and Commander Chakotay about a small situation. It's not an emergency, but I would like to deal with it today if possible. I'm more than willing to meet you up there also."

"Okay, say 15 minutes in my Ready Room?"

"Thank you Captain. I will see you then. Doctor out," the disembody voice replied.

The Captain stood stretching, before moving toward the bridge exit next to Ensign Harry Kim, "Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge."

"Aye Captain."

Kathryn pressed the chime on the First Officer's office door. She walked in trying to stretch out her neck and shoulders when he called enter. "There is one downside to a quiet day, stiff muscles."

"Agreed, but it's nice to have them every once and a while. I've finished all of the Engineering reports. Nothing to report. We are running smoothly," Chakotay said sitting behind his desk.

"Good. The Doctor needs to see the both of us. I told him 15 minutes in my Ready Room. Ready for a break and some coffee?"

"Make is tea for me and you're on," he said raising from the chair and moving around to her side as they walked out into the hall toward her office. "Did he say what it was about?"

"No, just that it was a small situation. His small situation can be rather big," she chuckled as the moved into the Ready Room.

By the time the Doctor arrived, the couple was seated on the couch working their way through full mugs and discussing plans for the evening.

"Come in Doctor. Please take a seat," Kathryn waved to him.

"Thank you for meeting with me and if you do not mind, I think I will stand."

Chakotay stared at the Doctor for moment; if he didn't know better he would have sworn the Doctor looked nervous. "Why am I getting the feeling this isn't such a small matter, Doctor?"

The EMH walked up the railing that separated the Captain's desk from the more comfortable conversation area. "It is both small and not so small. Small in that it is about the infant rescued by Seven from the Borg cube. Not so small, in that, I have not found a permanent home for the child."

Kathryn's face showed her disappointment "Is no one on board willing to adopt the child?"

"No, Captain. It is one thing to provide educational support to Borg children who are willing and able to speak for themselves and mainly monitored by Seven. It is quite another to accept full responsibility for a newborn who will have continuing health issue for many years."

"Did the other children know what species the child is or where to look for others of her kind," asked Chakotay.

"Yes, the species is limited to a single planet 20,000 light-years behind us. Odds are they have all been assimilated by now." The Doctor could feel his nerve retreating on him. He knew if he did not get to the point of the meeting now, he would run for Sick Bay without bringing it up. "There is one last option available. One that I believe would be perfect for the child, but it is not one that either of you may agree with."

"How bad could it be Doctor," Kathryn asked, leaning forward to pour more tea. "If you are suggesting that you adopt the child, I will gladly support you."

"No, I would not make a good parent. The mere fact I can be deactivated with a flip of a switch makes me an impossible choice. I also do not believe I have the capabilities yet to raise a child. The solution I have in mind is rather radical; almost as radical as the idea of a hologram raising a Borg child, but far more probable. This is not an easy solution for me to put before you. I ask that you let me lay the whole idea out for you. Then, after you have had time to think about it, I will be glad to answer any questions or concerns you have."

The officers glanced at each other in confusion. "Alright, Doctor. Present your idea."

"I believe the two of you should adopt this child," said the Doctor, grasping the railing in front of him for support. The expressions of the couple slowed morphed from curiosity to horror to what looked close to rage. Holding his hand up to stop their words, he quickly added "Please, just let me say this uninterrupted. Just hear me out and then I will go.

"The two of you already carry a huge burden between you. No one, least of all me, is blind to the struggles you both face every day. And, you do face them, with each other's support. Your dedication to this ship - this crew, to each individual that calls this place home - is obvious to us all. You have become surrogate parents to all of us, even me. The love and compassion you show us is a clear indication of the skills you would bring to raising a child. In many ways, this crew already sees you as a couple, even though you have held yourselves apart from one another for all of these years."

Kathryn raised a commanding eyebrow in an attempt to stop the Doctor's speech.

"Only the Senior Staff realizes why you are not a couple and wish you both would let go of protocol and regulations enough to see you are good for each other. It is time you looked to your own needs. The crew would manage just fine with less attention now. Adopting this child together would give you both so much more. There is more to this journey then just getting home. You have created an environment where this crew can create strong relationships. You have given them the freedom to grow beyond their dreams. Why can you not give yourself the same options?"

Chakotay looks at Kathryn, letting a small smile curve his lips.

"The bond you have is the very thing this child needs. In many ways, you are a like a married couple. You share your burden, your joys, and your pain. You do everything a couple would do except have . . . well . . . forgive me . . . marital relations. You have the perfect setting to raise a child. All I am asking you to do is consider it. If I did not think you would make wonderful parents, I would not be having this rather difficult meeting with you. Think about it and talk about it. Whatever you decide this crew will support. And, before you say it, I know the crew will support you as a couple and as parents.

"This is the next logic step for you both."

The Doctor turns and marches out the door without another word. On the bridge, the Senior Staff wait in front of the command chairs. To the junior officers, the gathering was curious, as this was not a place for a staff meeting. They watch as the EMH joins the group and quietly whispers so the lower rank staff could not here, "They let me have my say. Now we wait."

In the captain's ready room, silence was still settling around the command staff. Kathryn had yet to look Chatokay in the eye, beyond quick glances of amazement while the doctor was talking. Now, she stared at the door the EMH had exited through.

Chatokay takes a deep breath hoping the movement and sound would draw her eyes, but instead she turns further away to stare at the wall.

"Kathryn, let's go back to one of our quarters," he finally says causing her to start shaking her head. This was not something Chatokay was willing to let her push under the rug and ignore. He stood, pushing more authority into his voice, "The doctor purposely chose the end of shift to make his little speech. Now we need to deal with what he said and I will not let you hide from the subject."

The tense words triggered Kathryn to turn back to him and stand. "Hide from what, a totally inappropriate request? What is there is discuss? We can't do what he is asking, at least not the way he was describing it. One of us can adopt the child but not both of us. It doesn't make sense."

"Yes, it does," he says softly. Chakotay's first thought as the Doctor had been speaking was there was no way in hell the idea would work. Then the image of Kathryn holding their child rose in his imagination. The idea was quickly growing on him. He knew Kathryn had spent time with the baby girl, so had he. Something had seemed right when he was holding her. Now, he knew why. This was worth the fight that was brewing, but it would be a painful battle before it was over.

"No it doesn't. Gods, I don't want to know what Starfleet would say to us arriving home sharing a child. The regs are clear . . . "

"No, the regulations are your excuse. Nowhere do the regulations say a relation can't occur. Just that it is not recommended. We have broken so many regs over the years, why is this one so important? Let us go to our quarters and argue this out. I don't want the crew standing outside the ready room trying to listen in," he moves toward the bridge door. "I'm handing over the bridge. I will be waiting for you outside our quarters."

Kathryn watched as he left the room, with his shoulders stiff. She knew he was right, she did hide behind regulation and protocol. They were the only things she had left. She had no sense of time as she sat back down on the couch. Her eyes never left the door, as if she could make him come back in and retract what he had said. She was afraid of the outcome of this situation. She was afraid of moving forward with Chatokay and afraid of losing him.

When she finally forced herself to move, her feet took her to her quarters automatically. As she turned the last corner, she saw him coming down the hall carrying a covered tray from the mess hall. Chatokay's eyes scanned her body as if to make sure something wasn't wrong before meeting her eyes. What he saw there made him pause in the alcove housing their separate doors. After a moment, he turned, punching the code in to her door and walking in. By the time her slow steps moved her into the room, he had set the table for the supper he had brought.

"Kathryn, sit down and eat. The rest can wait until you have eaten and relaxed a little."

She shook her head, turning her back to him and moving into her bedroom. He found her sitting on the end of her bed, with her arms wrapped around her waist.

"Kathryn."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Act like nothing is wrong. Like this is just another first contact or trade negotiation. Like your world isn't spinning out of control." Her fear made her voice tight and deeper. Her eyes stayed turned down.

Chatokay was amazed to realize how small she had made herself look. She would always be a petite woman with a personality and bearing of a giant. She made it easy to forget that she was just human, a frightened human facing a huge change to her small world. The first tear hung on her check. The fear had finally won, for the moment.

He eased up next to her, pulling her up by her shoulders, wrapping her in a tight hug. The rest could wait. It would have to, until he could get her to fight back.

"I'm not ignoring this. It's too important. Nor am I belittling its importance. You are my best friend. If you would let me, I would make you even more. I'm tired, Kathryn, of pretending you are just my commanding officer. We owe it to ourselves to talk this through. The Doctor didn't come to us on a whim. I would bet a month worth of replicator rations the Senior Staff know exactly what the Doctor presented and have already given their blessings. Please, don't close me out."

"I don't know that I can do this, Chakotay. I don't know that I have anything left to give you or a child."

"You have more than you image," he said, rubbing her back.

After a moment, her arms relaxed and moved to encircle him. "I can't even image how we could work this. How would we find the time and energy to raise a child, an infant at that?"

"The same way we find the time to sit and talk. We make it a priority and allow the rest of the crew to do their jobs. We can't be everything to this crew. We can be everything to each other and that baby girl."

She hugged him tighter, as if to pull his strength into herself. Kathryn had fought the pull of the little girl since day one. Something about her called to her maternal instincts. Maybe it was just the idea of rescuing another person from the Borg, but it felt deeper. And, it frightened her to death.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chakotay had never seen Kathryn so lost. He got her to change out of her uniform and eat the meal Neelix had provided, but he couldn't get her to talk. She was shutting down emotionally and mentally. Following his simple instructions took the last of her physical energy. He didn't want to leave her like this, so he made the silent decision to sleep on her couch. Once their dinner was cleaned away, he settled her on the couch. She instinctively turned toward the windows and the stars. She didn't acknowledge his statement that he would be right back, just stared at the streaks of lights flying by.

He quickly went to his quarters, gathering items for the night. When he let himself back into Kathryn's quarters, she was turned toward the door with a panicked look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"You weren't there."

"I told you I would be right back," he said softly, setting down his things on the table. "I just ran next door to get my things for the night. Would you mind if I slept on your couch tonight?"

"You weren't here."

"Where did you think I was," he asks as he sits next to her. That simple move immediately relaxed his captain. He saw her ramrod straight back ease, her shoulders sag, and her legs curl up to her chest as she wrapped her arms around them.

"I didn't know. I didn't know if you were coming back," she mumbled around a yawn.

"I made a promise to you years ago. That is not going to change. Why don't you go to bed? We can talk in the morning. Maybe, go visit Sick Bay and that little girl," he says pushing a wisp of hair behind her ear.

Kathryn slowly nods before moving into her bedroom. At the door, she turns back to look at Chakotay. Feeling her eyes on him, he stands, turning toward her. Whatever she saw was enough for her to turn back to the bed and disappear.

Chakotay wasn't sure what had awakened him. He lay still on the couch, listening to the background hum of the ship. Some instinct told him something had changed in the apartment, despite the silence. He quietly rose from the couch, adjusting his sleep pants. The steps to Kathryn's bedroom was accomplished without his shoes and quietly enough to not draw her attention. His intent to check on her changed to surprise at finding her bed empty.

Looking around her quarters, he called to the computer, "Computer, location of Captain Janeway?"

"Captain Janeway is in the Sick Bay Lab."

"Location of the Emergency Medical Hologram?"

"The Emergency Medical Hologram is inactive."

Chakotay returned to the couch, grabbing a shirt and his badge before heading to Sick Bay.

Moving as soundless as possible, he found his way through the dark Sick Bay's main area and the Doctor's Office to look around the corner into what normally was the Doctor's lab. On one wall set a cot holding a sleeping Crewman Peters. The young woman had volunteered to help take care of the newborn baby. Against the rest of the walls stood a crib, changing table, and a rocking chair currently holding Kathryn and the baby cradled on the Captain's chest. Both slept comfortable in the twilight.

Moving back into the main treatment area, Chakotay called for the EMH, who appeared in the trauma bay. The hologram's normal greeting hesitated as he took in Chakotay lack of uniform and shoes. "Is something wrong, Commander?"

"Not really. Take a look in the lab."

The EMH walked through the way Chakotay had just come. A small smile sat on the Doctor's face when he returned. "Is this a good sign?"

"Maybe. You took both of us by surprise today. She didn't handle the surprise very well."

"How angry at me is she?"

"She's not angry. Well, not now. She is more . . . confused right now. The idea goes against everything she had built her life around, but I think she wants the courage to do this. Confused is the only word I can think of right now to describe her."

"Would you like me to wake her? Send her back to her quarters? She is more than welcome to stay here."

"No, if it wasn't the middle of the night, I would tell you we would just take the baby back to her quarters and spend time with her. We would wake Peters if we tried to pack the baby up right now."

"Maybe not," the Doctor said, turning to look through his office windows into the small room. "We could just do a site to site transport of the crib and chair, with the Captain and the baby as they are. You could be waiting for them if they awaken. Crewmen Peters could remain for the rest of the night and I could tell her a different arrangement was in the works in the morning."

"Milk, diapers?"

"I've been replicating them as needed. The changing table could be moved tomorrow if things work out. I can give you a PADD with instructions and the infant's current schedule. Her needs are rather simple right now."

"Do that."

The Doctor moved back into his office, returning with a PADD. "Everything is on here. Comm me when you get to the Captain's quarter and I will complete the transport."

Several minutes later, Chakotay stood by the door in Kathryn's quarter and watched as the transporter deposited the furniture and the two sleepers in a cleared area he had created. Over the open comm link, he acknowledged the process' success. He watched as Kathryn's eye slowly opened. He couldn't help but smile at the enthralled look on her face as she looked down at the baby. His move to lean against the wall drew her eyes to him. For the first time in a very long time, her eyes remained clear as she registered his stare.

"We didn't mean to wake you. But, the Doctor and I didn't think you would want to be found in the morning in Sick Bay."

Kathryn looks around the room before looking back down at the child's movements. Chakotay moved to kneel by the chair and watched the little girl yawn and stretch one arm up before resettling again Kathryn's breast. He couldn't resist running a light finger over the child's cheek. This was the scene he imaged in the Ready Room, the view that made him fall in love with Kathryn again.

"Can we really do this, Chakotay?"

"Yes, together, we could do anything."

He watched as she slowly rose and placed the child in the crib. Turning back to face him, she held out her hand to him. Reaching out, he took the small hand that held so much control. She pulls to help him rise and guides him into the bedroom and to the bed. He took control then, pulling her to him and covering her lips with his. The stars faded from view as they lay together, touching and feeling, at last.

Two weeks later, the majority of crew stood in Holodeck 2 to watch Tuvok preform a Vulcan birth blessing on the child named Catori Lace Janeway.

"The name Catori Lace was chosen to represent your parents' heritage and the path you will take through this life. Catori is from Earth's Native American culture, meaning spirit. Your father's spirit will stand with you forever and provide strength and guidance, as he does now for those around him."

Chatokay blinked several times before he could look up at Tuvok in gratitude for the unexpected words.

"Lace is from the Earth's Gaelic culture, meaning warrior maiden. Your mother stands against all those who will bar your path of life. She led us now for home as you will one day lead people for the noble and right causes."

Kathryn pulled Chakotay's arm tighter to her, as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"I am honored to stand in your life Catori Lace as a friend and mentor. Around you stand men and women who will stand with you and teach you of the universe's secrets. May you find your life filled with peace and honor," he slowly hands the child back to Kathryn before nodding solemnly to the crowd. "Join us in celebrating the newest member of Voyager and completion of the new family formed before us today."

Chakotay pulled his two loves close to him as the crew cheered and clapped.


End file.
